Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Never Say Never

I take my job as a mom very seriously and I believe that God put me on this earth to raise two Christian men. Not just two men but to Christian men that are not like the world but set apart from the world. Both boys as infants were clinging for their lives with two different illnesses. One with congestive heart failure at 7 months and the other born with a lung disease that resulted in RSV and a life full of asthma. Doctors told us with both of them that there was a 50% chance they would not pull through but through prayers they did and are healthy teens. I knew when God saved each one that it was for a reason, each child has a purpose on this earth and my job was to raise them to know God. I have always had my family in church, even changed churched once through many prayers, scriptures, devotions, and many other confirmations from God that we were being called to a new church home. Being faithful to call even as a lay person is very important! God has abundantly blessed our call. Our children have grown in their faith so much and one has accepted a call into ministry with our obeidience. My title "Never Say Never" leads to this. I am very protective with my teenagers and have always been. I have locked codes on our tv's that only I have the code to, I have ratings set on the computer, I have rating locks set on their cell phones, I have their grades and attendance emailed to me daily, I have an abundance of accountabilty parents that we all watch out for our kids together and notify each other if we need to, most importantly, I talk to my kids all the time. We talk about drinking, drugs, sex, movies, music, what kind of girls to date, equally yoked, what type of witness they are, cursing, how to handle a bad situation, friendships, difficult teachers or adults, honesty, kissing versus making out, where their hands are allowed to go on a girl and where they are not allowed, talking to their friends about God, making sure they always act in a way that they do not ruin their witness, do not do anything with friends that they could not do in front of their parents, etc. We cover it all and we have talked to our kids about these things since they were very young. They will wake us up in the middle of the night sometimes to talk. Well, Sunday after a lunch at church, my kids asked if they could go to a movie with some of the kids at church and one of the women at our church. I said yes. They were wanting to see a scary movie. I was exhausted because I had been at the church for two days preparing for this day and I did not ask my kids the details of the movie. I slacked off, my fault! My assumption was they know the rules! Almost 17 and 15, they will not go to an R rated movie, especially without calling me to at least ask and let me look it up. I honestly did not think another thing about the movie once they asked. My kids do not give me any trouble. They always tell me what they are seeing and they never ask to see rated R movies. My youngest son is the one who wanted to see this movie because he heard it was so good. He said to a group he wanted to see it. They wanted to go, he looked up the times and saw that it was rated R and he told them that it was rated R and then this mother of a teen says she will take them to see it. He says OK!!!!!!! Not a word to me! I do not find out until the next day. I am so upset and disappointed! I look the movie up and find that it has brief nudity. That makes it all the worse! He tells me when he looks it up on his phone it says violence and language but he promises that he did not see anything that says nudity. Both of my children who have been taught better did not go against the grain and say I better call my parents and ask if I can see this. I never thought they would do this. This is why I always say, I will never SAY my kids would never do that because as soon as I do, they will. This is minor, I know. I am blessed with two wonderful kids who are the light in the darkness. They are the minority in the High School. They have never had a drink and are proud of it. They do not go to parties because they choose not to, not because we do not let them, they are very respectful to girls and honestly they are very wise in who they choose to date and do not date often. They do not use foul language. They tell me often that they will not participate in these things. They both have committed to purity until marriage. They both are very respected by their peers for their faith and the way they carry theirselves. But, they are human and they are tested and pressured just like we all are. So, as parents, we can never get lazy, we can never assume, we must always check their stories for their sake, check out the movies for their protection, check out the music they listen to for their protection, check into their friends for their protection, get a facebook and myspace so we can see what they are doing and saying again, for their protection, learn everything you can about their boyfriend/girlfriend definitely for their protection. Last but not least, pray, pray, pray! I am learning that my kids even though they are great are struggling in this tough world and need as many prayers as the kids who are hooked on drugs, having sex, or drinking. I needed this reminder and wanted to share with all of you!

2 comments:

Brook said...

thanks for sharing what's going on. i'm so thankful to have a friend who's ahead of me as a mother. my boys are not teens yet, but you are preparing me for that day. thanks for always sharing what you're learning with me. lessons i'd much rather learn before it's my turn. you're doing the right thing. i was laughing when i was reading your lists of what you have done for protection. some would say in this day, that it's an invasion of privacy to set limits and check up on them online...and I say to them, have fun visiting you child in jail someday or at their graveside even worse. that is your job and it shows your by not being a lazy mom. my prayer is that ashton and landon will continue to have a healthy relationship with me into their teen years. i see shawn and his mom talk nearly everyother day if not more sometimes and i want that with my kids as they grow and leave the house...i guess i need to get off of here and call my mom and dad :) love you!

NaNa's Nonsense said...

Thanks Brook! I needed to read this encouragment tonight as I am hearing from my parents that I am too hard on one of my kids. It sure is funny how grandparents see things differently now then they did when they were raising their kids! I try but it is a battle against this world! We live and we learn. Love ya!