My Heart Stopped

I play Bunco the 1st Monday of each month with a group of Christian Women that I have grown to love more this week then ever before. I normally go each month and play Bunco but I have been somewhat reserved with my "Bunco Babes" as we call it because I do not know them well and I have to really know you to trust you much. Well, even though they all seem really nice, the past year and half that I have spent one day a month with them has been really shallow on my part. That is until Monday, March 3rd, 2008! God made me "Get Real"! Here is my story!

Dawson who is 16 and you all know how overprotective or (if you must, you can call me overbearing), I am with my kids I have to know where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing at all times. Ty was working as always and I was off to Bunco. Dawson and I talked earlier and I told him I had to have the car so he would need to find a ride home with so in so or so in so. Can't mention names. I told Drew to have Dawson call me as soon as he got home. I left the house at 6:00 and Dawson should have finished practice at 6:30. He would be home no later than 7:00. I am playing and we are loud and having fun, the most fun I ever had at Bunco. Then I realize, my phone has not rang. I stop and call home. Dawson is not home yet. I ask what time it is and it is 8:00. I HONESTLY THINK MY HEART STOPPED! I got confused and questioned the again. When it was verified that is was really 8:00 things after that are a little fuzzy! What I can remember is Mary immediately was dialing his coaches number who she has in her phone. I am calling home again. I call another friend and ask for help. I call Ty. Still no Dawson. I am thinking he has been in an accident. So far, as a mother, this is the scariest thing I have ever experienced. Not just as a mother but ever! We almost lost Dawson as a baby to congestive heart failure and I was more scared Monday because of the unknown. Dawson shows up at home within minutes of the start of the phone calls and he was in our driveway all along talking to a friend. I was furious! Relieved he was alive but furious that he had been so irresponsible. Brook quickly came and hugged me, I remember once I knew he was okay. We continued playing and I did the best I could to contain my composure. I wanted to just cry! At the end we always have prayer request and we all started talking about my situation with Dawson. They were in fear of his life once I got home. Lorna suggested that I say nothing to Dawson right away and let him just have to think about what was to come and about what he had done. This is so not me! I did it anyway! I said nothing, not even the next morning. Not one word! I scheduled my parents to pick him up from practice the next night while I was at school and nothing was discussed. That night I met them at a restaurant after class where they were eating and I acted like nothing was wrong! He shared with me his success on a test and we acted like nothing happened. I decided to let him come to me. As soon as we get home and I change my clothes, I see him come in and out of his bedroom a couple of times looking nervous. Then about 5 minutes after we are home and I am settled, he comes to me and apologizes for the fear he caused me. He sincerely apologized and told me where he went wrong and why he would never do that to me again. I just sat and listened and when he was through, I said "Thank you". My hearted stopped the night before when I thought he was hurt or dead but my heart broke when he came to me and owned up to his mistake like a man. To all my Bunco Babes, thank you! They were praying while I was franticking, they shared with me and loved me through this in a way I would have never done on my own. I believe God worked through these women to reach me and show me how to be merciful when my child made a mistake. I learned more about loving Dawson this week then I ever have. I have to give to him time and space in order to receive! Love you all!